Friday, March 26, 2010

the brightest Sky.

Silau.
Blinding.
Made me cry.

Jarak jauh emang bikin komunikasi ga lancar;
kedodolan internet, telpon kresek2, smsan selisipan, curhatan ga sampe + mahal.
Miscommunication.

She said I'm not moving on. About Him.
She thought by saying the truth I'll change the way I think.
I cried, by the way She didn't told the disappointment straightaway.
Guess what?

She thought I'm not moving on by posting this.
She afraid I'll break even more when She told me that.
I cried, it feels like losing home.
All those are misunderstanding,
because she didn't see the date of my posting.
She thought I post it yesterday.

HYAKHYAKHYAK

We cried, we feels bad, we laughed.


Dear beybi,

For silly times we laugh out loud
For things I can't explain
For looking past my flaws and faults
For all the time you spend
For all the kind things that you do
For concern and understanding
For the good you have done
For the seed you have sown
For the faith you have given me
For the honesty; even though the truth may not be what I want to hear
For bringing out the best in me
And just for being you.

It's all the inside jokes and "remember whens".

Through fun and fears, play and tears.
We help each other heal and grow.
The time--the days, the years.

the brightest Sky;
Always there, always around.
I look up to you, I respect you, and grateful.

xoxo


I dedicated this post to Her.

Learned:
- the hardest thing being far away from home is distance; it leads to mis-communication.
- No road is long with good company. #Turkish Proverb

Monday, February 15, 2010

Red Shirt Day.

Where people over-reacting with public display affection
Where all stores decorated with hearts and pinkish ornaments
Looks forced and artificial; seems unreal.
Why don't you just do it everyday?
Why it has to be on that day; commemorating someone head being slashed?

Well, actually, that’s a lie.
We're just making excuses to make ourselves feels better ryte?

As I grew older, Valentine’s Day somehow lost its meaning, you know why. Sweet-talker, girlish stuff, candlelight dinner; not my kind of things nowadays. I don’t think I could be one of those people who go lovey dovey. It seems like I am too old — or maybe too bitter — to spend hours in the kitchen making cookies or browsing shops for little gifts.

That probably sounds a little pathetic, but there lies loneliness that we couldn't avoid. Well, my last 'romantic' valentine were on 2003. Ever since then I have either been on my own or hanging out with some (single) friends on that day. When I was a teenager, I used to love Valentine’s Day because it gave me a chance to be creative; like doing mixtape song for him. Duh.

Surprisingly,
I did care about this year's Valentine's Day, and Chinese New (tiger) Year.

I really wish I didn’t care, and I try very hard not to. But this year is different.
Some closest friends invited me to having some feast to celebrate both with dresscode: something red. We just bring something that we made and buy from our home.
And, I bake cupcakes and make those crispy chocolate for everyone; original, peanut butter, nutella, and corn flakes flavor.
While they're busy doing their last project for their last year or having internship, gratefully i don't have too much work to do for this holiday.
Ever since my mom retired and asked me to accompany her anywhere she wants.

As always, we gather in Batara's.
LOTS of food, great (chinese) movies, and gossips.
And (last night's) fireworks :)



Put aside those lovely gifts and just try to remember it as the day to celebrate love (and affection), little something in their life that keep them feel loved and comfortable. We tend to take the people we care about for granted. And it made me realize that Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be about couples only, but can also be about showing the people you love and are close to that you treasure and appreciate them. Be happy if someone else happy. :)

It wouldn’t hurt to take the time once in a while to tell the people in our lives that we love them.
Cheers to a New Year and another chance for us to get it right.

Happy Tiger Year and Valentine's Day.

Big thanks to Nico, Sky, Nadhira, Yarra, Batara, Timmy, Ivan, Herdit, Batara's fam and Pak Ukur for the great celebration.



Learned:
- every little things are important.
- give special something to Someone; just show them you care. It feels good, makes you feel alive too

Thursday, December 3, 2009

the Good Die Young.

Halim woke me up this morning with that unexpected call, and conversation.
"WAKE UP STUPID! Harris passed away this morning!"

I couldn't believe it at first.
Who does?

Harris Izham, our unit coordinator and lecturer in our Architecture Science 202.
We remembered him as someone who's really fun, strict, and Fair and Square.
Sending those surprising mail with those caps lock letter and 'threatened' who's got bad marks.
Sending those craps forward mail but it's still amusing to read.
He's just 35, and turning 36, Tomorrow.

As I remembered him; he's like Father-figure to all of us. And I really respect him.
Eventough he's sinical, always giving us those 'smirk' if we do something wrong.
Which really makes us realized, scared, and do our work even harder.

I remembered my last conversation with him was 2 days ago, when I talked to Gary regarding our group 4 condition, he was there grading all those portfolio for AS Design 202.
In his usual self, which makes it really memorable for myself.
He joked with us and said,
"Muahahahahaha. 94 life of AS 202 students in these 2 hands. Muahahahahaha"
*with those smirk and evil laugh.

We've lost our lecturer, captain, father, and our Lord Megatron.
Rest in Peace, Harris Izham.
We'll miss you Sire; we already are.


and he is a great man.
May he rest in peace.

Learned:
- embrace all the times given to us.
- The Good Die Young; Didn't you love the things that they stood for? Maybe that's how they want to be remembered.

Friday, November 27, 2009

the New Moon.

No, i won't be talking about Edward Cullen.
Neither Jacob Black.

This sentence by Charlie just keep resounding in my head.
Over and over again.

"Maybe you should try to like something that's good for you."

Getting tired of my own stuffs.
And these on and off relationship of
'we need more time' or
'we both care' or
'i love you but you have to know it yourself because i won't speak it up, as always'.
It kills me slowly.
At least, it getting even more painful these past months.

February, dear.
It would be the only time i can give you, just until then.
I have to have my own life too.
I just simply wants to be happy.

You're still my idea of heaven.
But we're not always get what we want, right?


Learned:
- I won't stay; I don't want to say "it will get better, in time", and I'll be mad at myself a year later when things are not better.
- Never make someone a priority who only sees you as an option.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

My Idea(s) of Heaven.

You.

and those whom I called Family.